Hope. It stares at me. It gnaws at me. And most of all it scares me. This journey back into the heart can be a difficult one if you have as much trepidation and fear as I do. What if you dare to hope and it all comes tumbling down? Isn’t that how I got to this space in the first place, by being disappointed? Not quite getting resolved with the let down and then just stepping away from hope, because it did not work? Then I strengthen my mental muscle, the brain, reinforce the adage to use your brain and go with what you can see or can be proven. This works until I am faced with opportunities that uphold creativity and dreaming as the steps before launching. An example of this is feeling that “There is something more to me being here”, the feeling keeps at you until it becomes a nagging buzz that can be deafening.
I do not know what to do or where to begin. I have moved myself from the non cerebral. Here is when it becomes actually painful to relearn and TRUST my ability to use hope and show faith in the things I have begun to uncover, but I know that without hope than you cannot exercise faith.
This journey is an adventure with a lot of learning points and I am grateful to be able to share them. My hope ( see I am getting better after becoming aware of my past shut down of hope, so there is hope!) is that this sharing is supportive for those of us beginning this similar journey or those in the walk as well. Some days it feels like hope does float and some days it seems like a dangerous place that I may not be courageous enough to step into. So I am learning to choose my ability to be more trusting of my heart. I am re-learning what will uphold me as I produce hope for different things in my life. It is a deliberate acknowledgment of letting go of the past let downs and an awareness that my best moments are ahead of me with my heart spearheading, my brain supporting, then my body with the Universe, making it all come together.
#hope #hopefloats #dreams #support #love #strength #encouragement #faith #desire #dignity